What in the world!?!

I don't even know where to start or what title this post. I am blogging from the computer of the PICU waiting room at Medical City Children's hospital. I just got give Ben a bottle for the first time in 2 days. He still has in a feeding tube, but two more good feeds and he will get it out.
He started with a cough last week, and started running a fever on Monday night. We went to the doctor on Tuesday. They took blood, a urine sample via a cathater, a snot sample with a bulb syringe, and sent it all off to see what the source of fever was. I thought this would be the most traumatic part...little did I know it was only the beginning. We found out he had RSV that night, but we thought he was going to be on the mend in a day or so. He got worse the next moring, and our doctor sent us to the ER at Med City. Right before we went to the doctor he suddenly had a very hard time breathing. I was so scared he was going to quit my mom rode to the doc's office in the back seat so she could keep him awake and crying. He was admitted that afternoon, and we spent two nights on the regular hospital floor. Friday morning the decided he was getting worse, and he was working too hard to breathe. We moved on to the PICU. He's been there for two nights, and he will definitely be there one more. He is on oxygen, a feeding tube, IV, blood pressure cuff, and has little probes taped to his chest to monitor his heart. The doctor said we want to send him to the PICU so if he gets tired of breathing we can put him on the ventilator in a controlled situation instead of having an emergency up here. Every 3hours he gets breathing treatments, CPT (where they pat down his back for 5 minutes on each side with a little gizmo), and suctioned out his nose. All of this sounds so awful, and it has been this hardest thing I have ever done. If I think about it from a medical standpoint, he just has a really, really bad cold. Since he is so little, he can't do anything to help himself like blow his nose, give a good cough, etc. His little nasal passages and airways are so tiny, they are more easily clogged than ours would get. He just needs extra support and sucting out until his bad cold clears up. It sounds a lot less traumatic when I say it that way.
I have learned words I never needed to know about, like O2 stats, respiratory rate, pulse ox.
Even though I would not have chosen to be in the PICU, it was really the best thing that could have happened for us. On Thursday night I was beyond tired. Already sleep deprived, I was going on my 4th night maybe getting 2 hours of sleep, unable to comfort my sick child who could not eat and was hooked up to tubes...even when we were able to rest in our room, we'd be interrupted by a beeping IV machine or someone coming to take his viatals. I was at the end of my rope...totally out of steam and not knowing when the nightmare would end. As I climbed in to the hospital recliner to try and rest I pleaded with God to please give me strength and somehow provide us with some rest. The next morning at 4 am the process to put Ben in the PICU began. At first I thought it was the worst thing that could be happening, but it was God answering my plea for help. Ben started getting the things his little body desparetly needed...a feeding tube so he wouldn't be starving, more O2...a faster flow and humidified, round the clock nursing care, and he finally able to rest. It was just what he needed...basically he just needs to be there to get better. Our little nurse Tattiana started taking good care of us right away. She told us that there would be someone there 24/7 to hold him, watch over him, and meet his every need. Chad and I were able to go home and see Kate, and best of all we were able to go home and sleep. I just needed some rest. My arms ached from trying to calm a crying baby, my eyes were so heavy from days of not sleep and crying so hard. What had initially seemed to be the worst thing to happen to us turned out to be the Lord answering my prayers. Ben has continued to improve since has been in the PICU, and we have gotten to spend time with our other kids and get some sleep. Perfect provisions for this difficult time. Being in the PICU instead of on the regular floor is like staying at the Four Seasons after being in a Motel 6.
I have pics to post, but I'll have to wait until I get home. Ben has another night in the PICU, so we'll be able to sleep at home with Kate tonight. Donna has Ryan...he is a little oblivious to all this. As long as he has jelly beans and Diego he is such a happy camper. My prayer and hope is that he'll go to the regular floor in the morning, and we'll be home Tuesday.